I grew up in church. I was born in a wonderful family and clan who loved Jesus, taught Jesus, and lived Jesus. But I didn’t know who Jesus was for myself. My mother said that I was seven years old when I received the Holy Spirit of God and spoke in tongues. I remember when I was nine years old experiencing the power of God upon me in a church service one night, receiving His love, receiving His Spirit and speaking the language that the Bible talks about. God’s heavenly language – God’s rest to the soul and weary. I’ll never forget that experience and I remember standing there at the altar afterwards feeling so much love for everyone in the church, I just wanted to hug everyone. But then still, I didn’t know who Jesus was for myself. I didn’t know what having His Holy Spirit meant. I didn’t know what living in grace was supposed to be about. So much so that in the process of time, church became a burden to me. I loved church, don’t get me wrong, I loved the fellowship and the singing and feeling the presence of God, but I felt that there were too many rules. Too many do’s and don’ts, and too many things you could do wrong and disappoint God. Truth be told, I hated all that religion. I really found it a burden.
I didn’t know that you could be in church, be born in church, and know all about God and even read your Bible all your life, and still be so ignorant of God. When He’s not real to you, in your soul and in your heart and you don’t see Him talking to you, He might as well be a stranger. Oh, He talked to me all my life and I knew it was Him sometimes, but I didn’t really know who He was. It was like going to a store and talking to the same cashier every time you bought your cup of coffee, but never really knowing who she is inside. Even when you talked to her you just learned some superficial stuff, but didn’t know who she really is. It’s even like growing up at home with your father, mother and siblings, and coming to realize that you don’t have a real relationship with them either. It’s all superficial. You don’t really know each other.
But then God one day just became so real and so personal to me. One day I came to see Him for myself, and came to know who He is. I guess you can say He’s been trying to reveal Himself to me all those years, but now I really see Him. Now I am acknowledging Him. He is there and I can see Him. One day in prayer He literally entered into my soul. He literally entered into my being and there I saw Him. I can see Him in my mind and I can see Him in my thoughts. There is a visible Spirit there in my mind. After years and years of talking to Him and Him talking back to me, now I can see Him. What a difference! It reminds me of the story of Job in the Bible when God finally shows up clear and bright as the sun shines in the morning to Job, and Job says to God, “I have heard about you all my life and now I see you!” {Job 42:5} There was such a difference. Knowing about God and seeing God for yourself is totally different experience. Knowing about Him is wonderful, but seeing Him for yourself is another dimension. It is life changing.
When you know Jesus your life changes, your outlook changes, and your desire changes. What you thought was an amazing life before now pales in comparison. What you thought you wanted and thought you couldn’t live without, now becomes worthless to you. When you see Him and when you learn to touch Him and hear His voice speak back to you, and you feel His love in return, you come to understand those special songs that say, “All I want is Jesus…All I need is You…There is nothing in the world I’d rather have.” You come to understand it. I remember sitting in a church service years ago and hearing a preacher say, “I don’t know if all I really need is Jesus. I don’t know if I can really agree with that song.” And I agreed with Him. I understood exactly what He was saying. I didn’t understand those songs either that say all they need is Jesus because let’s be honest, I need food, I need water, I need clothes, my goodness I need a lot of things. But now I understand that song. It is being Moses at Mount Sinai sitting with God for forty days and forty nights. Moses didn’t eat or drink as far as we know, and he made it. He came down from that mountain alive. All He needed was God. Period.
I guess the best way I can describe it is when you fall in love with someone. I mean really fall in love with someone. All of a sudden you stop caring about anything else but to be with that person. It’s like they become your meat and drink. Seriously, there are moments where you can say, I don’t want or need anything else but to be with this person I love. That’s why many of us who fall in love end up marrying that person we love, simply because we cannot live without them.
Knowing Jesus is like that for me. Seeing Him and feeling Him, and even touching Him in my soul, makes me fall in love with God so badly I don’t care about anything else or want anything else but to be with Jesus. There is no one like Him in the world. I’ve read books of personal near death experiences, and many of those who have seen Jesus face to face while unconscious and in their spirit speak about this great love that they feel for Him and from Him. The only thing they care about at that moment is to be in His presence. One survivor said that life after his near death experience became depressing for him. All he wanted to do was to be with Jesus again.
See it’s not enough to know about Jesus or to even talk to Him everyday, but it’s so key to see Him and to feel Him. Yes, I understand faith in God, faith in Jesus, that we must have faith in God even when we don’t see Him or feel Him. But I am telling you right now, there is such a world of difference in seeing Him and feeling Him – knowing Him and Him knowing you. And when you understand that He knows you – that is such a life changing experience. You must have that – knowing that He knows you. When you know that He knows you, you stop being afraid of what happens after death. You stop being afraid of what’s going to happen to you tomorrow. You stop being afraid of nuclear attacks and World War III. You stop caring about your life, because you have this wonderful and real assurance. Not a wishful thinking assurance, but a real assurance in your heart and soul, that even if the worst thing happens to you and you die, you are going to be all right. You are assured of your destiny – today, tomorrow, and forever. That’s what coming to know Jesus is all about for me. He gives you peace – wonderful peace that the world could never ever give to you.
Coming to know who is Jesus takes time. He is not a microwave kind of friend. He is a deep friend, the deepest and truest friend you will ever find. He takes relationships seriously. He wants a lasting one with you. He’s not a fly by night friend. He is a friend that will stick with you come hail or storm, sin or shame, sickness or disease, for richer or for poorer – you name it, He’s there. Coming to know who Jesus is, is seeking after Him, talking to Him, and asking for Him to reveal Himself to you again and again. And you, sticking by Him. You don’t go and pray and sleep then wake up and walk away. You go and pray and sleep and wake up and talk to Him again and again and again, knocking at His door and saying to Him, I want a friendship, I want to know who You are. Please let me in and let me know You. Reveal Yourself to me.
Coming to know who Jesus is, is listening to Him, to His whispers, being expectant of Him appearing to you, always ready to receive Him. And when He talks to you in your spirit, you respond to Him and you thank Him for responding to you. Coming to know Him is always, always being glad to be led by Him and His Spirit to go where He wants you to go, speak what He wants you to speak, and do what He wants you to do. It’s always ready for Him, morning, noon and night. And seriously just everyday saying to Him, “I want You, Jesus, I want You. Please reveal Yourself to me. Let me have You. Let me know You. Let me see You.”
Now I understand that there is more to Christianity than just being in a church service. Sure, there is that drawing of God’s presence and His Spirit in people’s lives that make them come to church, talk about God, and want to know God. But it seems to me once we’re out of that presence or don’t feel that presence anymore, we want to run away from church or anything that speaks of God or religion. We just want to do what we desire to do, and what comes natural to our flesh. We don’t want God anymore. We don’t want all those rules that shackle us and make us feel awful about ourselves. That’s because we haven’t really experienced Him, we haven’t even seen Him face to face. We’ve got to see Him face to face and experience Him for ourselves. We’ve got to feel Him and His love flow through our bodies, heart and soul. We’ve got to have the same experience that Job had in seeing God, or Saul (who became Apostle Paul) on his way to Damascus. When Jesus appeared to Saul he said to the Light that spoke to him, “Who art thou, Lord” And the Lord said to him, “I am Jesus…”. {Acts 9:5} And from that moment on Saul was never the same again. His life was changed because at long last he had seen Jesus and talked with Him face to face.
Once you know Jesus, all that ritualistic religion is thrown out the window. All the mysteries of who God is, are now resolved. All that gnawing in your heart and soul, all that emptiness, all those many nights of fear of the darkness all around you, overpowering you, stops. You stopped worrying about what God thought of you. You stopped worrying about trying to please Him, trying to be holy and perfect, trying to make God “desirable” in your life. There is no more of that void that you experience in this life. All you want more and more now is to experience Him again and again, feel that love consuming your heart and soul again and again. Because now you see Him, you know Him and you feel Him. Now you know you are well loved. You know He loves you and that’s all that matters. Being loved by Him means more than anything in the world to you. Now you know it. Now you feel it. And now you see it. It’s a real feeling that’s flowing through your body, heart and soul. You sleep in peace at night and the darkness has no power over you anymore. His word is not an enigma to you anymore. God is not full of the do’s and don’ts preachers preach about anymore. He’s not the rules of Thou shalt and Thou shalt nots anymore. He’s now a living, breathing, human being, speaking to you and talking to you as real as any human being can be. You understand His words now. You understand all that law and what He’s been saying. You understand it is all given to the whole human race because of His love for them. It’s not to make it harder for man to find God, it is to make it easier for man to find Him. We just make it hard for ourselves because of our unbelief and the hardness of our hearts. We have a hard time believing. But God now is supposed to be as He is, amazing and wonderful and incredible.
He is more than anything you could ever imagine God could ever be and more. Gone are the burdens of trying to please Him. Gone are the burdens of trying to please people. You know His voice and you’ve seen His face. You know what truth is. You don’t care anymore what they say or think about you. God now is a power in you, moving in your heart, doing what is good and pleasing before Him in your life. He is now accomplishing the righteousness in your life that you thought could never be possible. He is doing it through you. He is the one accomplishing it. You love Him and you can’t help anymore but love Him. And truth be told, all you want now and need is Jesus, nothing more and nothing less, in the morning, in the afternoon, and at night. You even stop desiring heaven more than Him. Whereas before your prayer was to end up saved and end up in heaven, now all you care about is just being with Jesus. It doesn’t matter where He makes His abode, whether in heaven, or on earth or in a totally different dimension you have no idea exists yet. As long as you have Him, that’s all that matters. You don’t care where you end up when you’re done with this life, all you care about is being near Him wherever He is and looking at His face.
There is no one like Jesus. I promise you, when you truly have experienced Him and have come to see Him and know Him for Yourself, your life will never be the same again.
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. {John 14:6}
Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. {John 11:25}
Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. {John 14:17}
Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. {John 14:23}
But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. {John 14:26}
And he that seeth me seeth him that sent me. {John 12:45}
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. {John 14:27}
When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory. {Colossians 3:4}
Prayer
Heavenly Father, I thank You with all of my heart for You. I thank You that You have come to reveal Yourself to me through Your wonderful Son, Jesus Christ and have shown Your love for me through His death at the cross. I love You so much Lord Jesus. I love You and I thank You with all of my heart for Your great love for me.
I hope and I pray that You will continue to show Yourself to me. Give me faith to continue to believe and trust in Your great love for me. Continue to let me look at Your face and see Your face and know You. Reveal to me the mysteries of heaven and God. Reveal to me the things I don’t know about yet and should know about in regards to You and Your love for me. I pray Father that You will bless me and that I will come to know You so much more as the days go by. I pray this Father, in Your most wonderful and gracious name, Jesus. Thank You, Father. Amen.
