How many of us still feel like a little child when we’re not sure about what the future holds for us? We feel small and powerless. We don’t know where to go or where to turn, or who to trust with something that’s dear to our hearts. Whether it’s a dream we’re pining for and working towards, or a decision we need to make in the future and are not sure about, we feel so inadequate and so unsure about the right decisions to make. Our hearts palpitate, we catch our breath, and we hope beyond hope that all will go well. In truth, we’re looking for home: something familiar, something sure, where someone will tell us everything is going to be all right. We want to hear that even if it doesn’t work out exactly the way we had envisioned it. A place where everything will still work out. We’re looking for a home where we feel safe and secure.
I got up this morning from one of those dreams again that I have not had for a long, long time. I was born in the Philippines and grew up in the city of Manila, specifically in Caloocan City. In those days I had no qualms about roaming the streets of Malaya where my home was and the other streets beyond it. To me Malaya Street is my home. But this morning in my dream I was wandering again in the streets of Manila. I wasn’t sure if I was in Caloocan already but I kept thinking, “Malaya is near here somewhere, I must find it and I will be all right.” But I couldn’t find it. I was lost and trying to avoid stray dogs and chickens, which I would often come across in my roaming days of childhood. In my dream I would always be near Malaya but never actually finding it. When I woke up I said to the Lord, “Lord, find me my home.” He said to me, “You are home.” He showed me that my home in Malaya is no longer there. Even if the building was still there, everyone that I loved and who loved me are gone. There is no home there for me anymore. I must learn to let that past go and accept the home I have now here in America, with my husband who loves me very much. Most importantly I must accept that my home is with Him, Jesus, and that wherever He is, that is my home.
This comforted me very much even though I felt saddened about it at the same time. He is right of course, I must accept that there is no home for me there in Malaya anymore. Even if I want to go back there the only one I will see that’s still familiar to me would be a friend across the street. Thank God she’s still there though. If I could only get to Malaya I will be fine, I keep telling myself. But am I really? The Lord is right, no one’s there. My father sold our home years ago. Someone else lives there now. Of course I’m wondering why I’m dreaming this again today. I think maybe because the Lord has been dealing with me about packing up and moving again. When I woke up this morning from this dream the first thing I felt was, “This is what happens with change. Things shouldn’t have changed. It should have stayed the same forever.”
It’s taking me some time to let the past go. What about you? Do you feel lost sometimes, wishing so much to find the past where your home is, where you felt loved and accepted? Where everything is familiar to you? Are you faced with a pending change in your life? Is the Lord dealing with you about moving on with Him and you’re not sure exactly how to go about it? Sometimes the only way to find home is to let go of the past and accept it, and then as Jesus told me this morning, we must find our home with Him now. Accept that in the realm of our realities and dreams, in an unknown future and uncertainty with life, Jesus is here for us to lead us to safety. He is our home. He will never leave us nor forsake us. He will never lead us to be lost or to be without shelter again. With Him we will always find our home.
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. {Psalm 23:1-2}
Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. {John 14:1-3}
I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. {Psalm 32:8}
For I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul. {Jeremiah 31:25}
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. {Matthew 11:28}
Prayer
Lord Jesus I thank You with all of my heart for Your great love for us, Your people today. I thank You Father that there is nothing that You will not do for us. You will lead us to safety with You. You will lead us to home with You where there is peace and still waters to our soul. I love You so much Lord. You mean so much to me.
Lord Jesus, please Father, help us Your children to come to You for everything we need in this life. Help us to come and trust You with all of our fears. Give us faith in You, Jesus. There is nothing that You do not understand about us. You know all things, even the future that we are dreading. Father, save us from our fears – known and unknown. Save us Lord and calm our hearts. Give us peace that passes man’s understanding. Help us to trust You. I pray all these in Your most wonderful and gracious name, Jesus. Thank You, Father. Amen.
