{This is a post I had written four years ago in my old blog regarding overcoming in prayer. I hope and pray that this will bless you today.}
“And He was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast and kneeled down and prayed saying, Father, if Thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but Thine, be done. And there appeared an angel unto Him from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in agony He prayed more earnestly: and His sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” {Luke 22:41-44}
“A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world.” {John 15:21}
I started my prayer this morning with such despondency and helplessness in my mind. I’ve been praying for the same thing over and over again for years now. Once in awhile it would press upon me and weigh me down that I can’t even pray. I have been assured in time passed that the Lord will take care of it, that He will bless me and not have to worry about it anymore. But still today, this morning, I feel like I’m starting all over again. It seems worse since it’s been something I’ve been praying for and now still where is the deliverance of God? Why am I still dealing with this? I need a word. I need to be set free from this burden. But I couldn’t even think. My thoughts were a whirl in my mind and all I felt in my heart were sandbags upon sandbags of years of this weight. I would just rather die than go on.
Still I know I have to go on. There is no other choice. It seems to me it’s as easy for God to deliver me from this issue as it would be to grant me my heart’s desire to just lay down and die. I prefer of course to live. But I feel like giving up.
I prefer not to go into details of what I’m dealing with. First, it’s something personal. Second, I feel like people will think it’s not such a big deal after all and will think I’m crazy for making such a big deal about it. I don’t know if you’ve been there were your problems are greater in your mind than in other people’s lives and vice-versa. Other people’s problems seem less wretched than what your friends make it out. But yet we all feel this way. We’ve been praying for something for years and nothing seems to happen. Other times it seems to get worse (as I felt this morning).
Sometimes all we need is a word. A revelation. A vision in our minds that what we’ve been praying for is heard by God and that it’s going to come to pass eventually. Even that eventuality is better than never. If you’re like me and you’re that person that just needs to hear a word, or is desperate to get an assurance from God that He’s working at our problems, then I hope this write up will help somehow.
I’ve been praying for years and have been talking to God for years and I have seen results upon results of God answering my prayers. Prayer is something I do on a daily basis. Sometimes my prayer lasts for just an hour, sometimes two, sometimes all day. I have seen God work in my life through these prayers; words of revelation, assurances, visions, I have experienced all through my prayer.
My prayer this morning started out quiet. I was disturbed in my mind and despondent, but I kept on praying. Talking to the Lord in my heart. Actually, at first I mostly complained. My thoughts went like this, “I have had it. My life is wretched. Just miserable.” I let my emotions dictate my thoughts. My heart was just venting in misery before God.
After about what seemed like forever – probably just half an hour really, I changed my tactic. I figured I’d read my Bible. I opened up my Bible and continued reading the chapter that matched the day of the month in Proverbs. I had missed a couple of days so I had to make up two chapters up to the 22nd. Then I read more of my daily chapters from the Tyndale Daily Walk Bible (KJV) that I have. I am actually at Numbers now…February 15th in my Bible.
Eventually my prayer became audible, speaking out loud, thanking God as just a matter of course for the things He’s done in the past – never really feeling it but I know it’s better for me in my heart somehow. I also try to wait on the Holy Spirit. I try to listen in my spirit as I reach out to the Lord.
Then the troubles in my mind took over – I was overcome by my emotions and feeling overwhelmed. I sobbed my sorrow out to God, weeping my sorrow out to God. (No one is around so I can freely do this. In time past I would bury my face in my pillow and just pour my heart and soul in tears before God. This is good. This moves the heart of God.)
I continue to love Him even though my mind is still in wretchedness, remembering His goodness again in time past of how my prayers were answered, even though in my mind I still find it hard to believe my current situation has a way out.
An hour or so has passed and still it seems like it’s a dead end. But I don’t give up. I haven’t overcome yet. I haven’t gotten the release in my mind yet. I don’t give up. By this time God started to deal with me in my spirit to believe that He is for me. By this time I am feeling in my spirit to trust Him. Still, somehow I still feel defeated, that there is no way out, that it’s a dead end. I feel tired and hopeless.
I love God again as a matter of course. I sing a song because I feel like singing. Then I love Him again. I remember His goodness again in my life and what He’s done in the Bible. I still feel overwhelmed in my heart and in my soul. I feel like hope is gone, life is hateful. Then I cried it out to the Lord. I cry and weep it out to God. I tell Him exactly how I feel. I cry, “I hate my life! I hate my life! Nothing changes, nothing ever will….wahhhhh…..hate it…hate it…hate it…”
Still nothing. So I read a Psalm out loud. I read my Bible. I love God again, thanking Him in my heart saying, “I love you Jesus. I praise you. I love you. You are great. You are Holy. You are faithful,” again and again. I praise Him.
By this time I start to feel God is around me, waiting. Am I going to give up? Am I going to give in to the spirit of defeat? I don’t. I continue. I love God again. I remember a time in the past when He delivered me and I talked to Him about it. I told Him how I know He can do the same thing again, even though I feel like there’s nothing coming through.
Seems two hours will probably have passed by this time and still I feel like there are still closed doors, still like life is hateful. I love Him still anyway, even if I don’t feel like it. I love Him still, anyway. I sing a song again, loving Him. I sometimes would read a devotional. I sing a hymn or listen to a hymn. I stay closeted. Uninterrupted. By this time I’m feeling a little less overwhelmed even if my mind still has not been renewed. My spirit feels a little less overwhelmed, especially when I’ve been loving Him and then crying out to Him.
Prayer will sometimes feel like giving birth: going through labor, trying to push but the child won’t come out. You have to keep pushing and keep trying until the child does come out or else if you give up that child is going to die. The same way with prayer. Do not leave your room or your closet until you feel a release in your mind, a surge of faith that God will take care of what you’re praying for. That He will take care of everything.
Wait…lots of waiting. Just because you don’t feel like you’ve been delivered doesn’t mean you’re not going to be. Remember the giving birth, remember the child.
At this point I asked the Lord to release my mind from oppression, to help me to think what I should think or see what I should see. Of course I’ve been trying to pray this all along but not really meaning it. By this time though I’m believing Him to do it. It is becoming possible.
As I pray and cry to Him and when I am weeping, I ask Him to comfort me. I literally ask Him and beseech Him to comfort me, and He does. I feel a release in my soul. I feel a little bit lighter.
Depending on your situation and your state of mind, two hours – almost three probably, God will come around. When you finally are exhausted and almost resigned and given up, God will come around, your voice will be heard. It’s as if He’s heard you finally.
But still only by opening up your life to Him and blessing Him and loving Him will it ever happen. Never when your mouth is negative. As long as you keep in that negative talk you will keep being defeated.
If He’s dealing with you in your spirit and you recognize it, acknowledge Him. If He says, “I am with you,” then say, “Lord, thank you for being with me…thank You that I’m not alone…” And if you still feel discouraged say, “But I still need your help. I still need your strength…”
If you’re having a hard time breaking through and He’s dealing with you regarding a sin, by all means, deal with it. If you can’t, ask Him in your spirit (or in your mind) to help you and He will. Whatever He deals you with, acknowledge it or you won’t be able to move on, especially when it comes to sin. All you need to do is say, “I’m sorry Lord Jesus. Please forgive me. I will try not to do it again. Please help me not to do it again.” Believe that He will and move on. Don’t dwell on the misery of your sin. If you’ve already acknowledged it He doesn’t want you dwelling on it. Move on.
Now, if you can’t seem to move on because of a sin or a past issue, you will need to stay praying until He releases you. You might even feel completely hopeless about it. If you are, it’s time to fast. Put aside all other cares in your life. If you need to spend a day with the Lord but have other cares, ask the Lord to show you how to deal with those cares so you can spend that day with Him and fast. He will show you.
Somewhere in between two hours and the third hour He will come. If you open your mouth in love of Him and in adoration of Him and lifting Him and proclaiming His goodness in your life, and in the Bible for what He’s done, He’s going to come to you. All it takes is one thought and you will be released from whatever negative spirit that you have been under, from whatever oppression you’ve been feeling, you will be released and delivered.
At some time in my third hour my mind was opened. I saw a vision in my mind of what I really wanted and really desired for all these years. The thing that I’ve desired for became forefront in my mind and with a surge of faith from the Holy Spirit I pray it. A surge of trust also comes into my heart and I know it’s possible. God has shown it to me. This is what I have been waiting for. This is the end of my pushing. I see again what I’m working and living for. I have been shown this before but I needed to see it again in this light. All my problems seem unimportant now and the only thing that matters is this “vision” in my mind.
If you still do not receive the deliverance by second or third hour, keep waiting. It might be you are in need of the Holy Ghost power. Make sure you ask for it. It might take you probably another day. But if you don’t give up and keep at it, by the second day or third you should feel a release and deliverance. You should feel a thought come into your heart, in your spirit or in your mind to release you from whatever hopelessness and doubts that have been oppressing you.
Of course if you need to cook and clean and deal with your everyday life then go ahead and do it. But keep your burden in your heart and in your mind. Don’t let go of it. Keep in “labor” spiritually. Then get back to it when you have time alone again with the Lord. Resume where you were. Don’t start all over again. Know that God knows you’re laboring. He knows were you left off in your spirit and in your mind. So don’t worry if you feel like you’re starting all over again. Add the next hour or more to your tab and keep pushing. I heard of people in labor for 36 hours and their reward was more than well worth it. So will yours be.
Begin again the next day to love Him and to bless His name and wait for Him to deliver you until He delivers you. Do not give up. The child is worth it. And when the child is born you will rejoice and you will be glad. There is nothing like it in the world when you break through in the spirit and God begins to manifest His hand upon you.
When you feel deliverance in your heart or in your mind, REJOICE! And be exceeding glad in your heart and in your soul. If need be, jump up and down and wave your hand in the air before God. Dance before God. Make a joyful noise unto Him. Love Him. Thank Him. Make a big deal. Thank Him for delivering you. Thank Him for the thought that delivered you. Thank Him for the vision that He has shown you. However He came to you to set your mind free specifically thank Him for it and rejoice. Rejoice and praise Him out loud because then your deliverance will turn into victory. Your heart will become joyful. Your heart will turn into gladness and you will cast away all spirit of gloom surrounding you and you will feel very victorious indeed.
“Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” {Psalm 27:14}
