“Say not thou, I will recompense evil; but wait on the LORD and He shall save thee.” {Proverbs 20:22}
It’s not an easy thing to forgive. If it was easy the Lord wouldn’t have talked about it and given us so many examples: The Prodigal Son who found forgiveness from his father. The Lord answering Peter’s question of how often we should forgive our brother who sins against us (seventy times seven!). The Lord’s parable about the unforgiving debtor, and on and on. Even in His own death He showed us an example of what forgiveness looks like,
“Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do…” {Luke 23:34}
In the Lord’s Prayer He taught His disciples that when they ask for God’s forgiveness, they should turn around and forgive others as well. Jesus said,
“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” {Matthew 6:14}
The Lord knew that this is something we struggle with so He made this a very important issue and talked about it. He says if we forgive we will be forgiven also.
But still, it is not easy. It’s one thing to be reading about it in the Bible and our heads bob up and down and we agree with it, it’s another if our heart doesn’t mean it. We can’t really mean something if our heart is not in it. We can’t say, “I love you” to someone and not feel it. But it’s important to try to forgive even when we don’t feel it at first, by starting to say to the Lord that we forgive the person who hurt us. Then if we take the time to talk to the Lord everyday (as long as it takes until He completely takes our bitterness away), we can have that feeling of forgiveness and love come back to us again.
This is what I’ve learned again and again, that the only way to forgive is through Jesus Christ. I can’t do it for myself. When you are hurt for no fault of your own, your sense of justice naturally rises up and you can’t help but want to get back and get even, and have judgment on your side. You want to be justified. You want to be heard and be made right. When you feel you’ve been unjustly accused and lied to, then forgiveness is not going to come naturally. It’s going to be hard.
Again and again though what I’ve found is to talk to the Lord about my hurt and confusion. I’ve found in the process of my talking to Him He sorts things out for me. He helps me see things in a better perspective.
It’s tempting sometimes to assume that God must be against us because we don’t want to forgive. When we feel like we are in the right and God requires for us to forgive, well, then who wants to talk to God at all? It seems to me the transgressor gets away with murder and we have no other choice about it because God said we must forgive. God is requiring from us what isn’t fair at all. I thought He’s a God of judgment and now it feels like it’s totally the opposite, He’s on the side of the one who hurt me. I forgive, then what of them?
It does look that way at first. But trust me on this, if you talk to the Lord about everything you feel, exactly how you feel, even how you think it’s not fair to forgive, He will help you see things in a better way. He will help you to understand why it’s important to forgive. He might even counsel you to stay away from that person that has hurt you if they’re in a habit of hurting you in times past to protect you. But in the end He will help you to forgive if you ask Him to.
Forgiving someone is not for the sake of those who hurt us, but really for our sake. It’s so we can have peace in our heart and be able to lay down to sleep at night and not have to worry what the other person is doing. And yes, it’s also so that we can find more favor in the sight of God, because it’s showing mercy and grace just as God shows us mercy and grace. When we show mercy surely we will be shown mercy too. Even if we feel that the person doesn’t deserve it. We are actually looking at our future self and depositing mercy for when we will need it and don’t deserve it. Even in times past, you could probably look at your life and find that you’ve been shown mercy to when you didn’t deserve it. Jesus tells us,
“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” {Matthew 7:12}
“Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.” {Matthew 5:7}
Proverbs 11:17 says it this way,
“The merciful man doeth good to his own soul: but he that is cruel troubleth his own flesh.”
Truth is, when you stay angry and upset because someone has hurt you and you want to get even, there is no one else you are hurting but yourself. Being bitter in a long run will affect your health, not just your mental health but also your physical health. There are many studies showing how bitterness and a resentful or unforgiving heart can cause mental illness such as depression and anxiety. It is also linked to illnesses such as a weakened immune system and cardiovascular problems. God is actually saying, “Forgive because I don’t want you to get sick.” Not just to get your spiritual health taken care of, but He also wants you healthy mentally and physically.
Transgressors do not get away with anything unless they repent and ask for forgiveness. The Bible states,
“Good understanding giveth favour: but the way of transgressors is hard.” {Proverbs 13:15}
But,
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” {1 John 1:9}
And,
“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.” {Proverbs 28:13}
The Bible also states whatever we sow we will reap:
“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” {Galatians 6:7}
That principle applies to everyone. Whether someone else does the hurting or you do it, whatever we sow we will reap. God is still the God of judgment. Even though He is also a God of mercy He will bring judgment whether you believe it or not. This is so true that people like Stephen in the Book of Acts when he was being stoned to death cried out to the Lord and said,
“Lord lay not this sin to their charge.” {Acts 7:60}
He knew that the people who were hurting him were in trouble because he knew God is a God of judgment. The Bible states,
“God shall judge the righteous and the wicked: for there is a time there for every purpose and for every work.” {Ecclesiastes 3:17}
So even though it may look like the one who hurt you is getting away with what they’ve done, they’re not. Unless they repent and ask the Lord for forgiveness and make amends with Him or with you, they’re not getting away with it.
Remember, even King David did not get away with the murder he committed against Uriah the Hittite. He suffered a great deal afterwards because of what he did. God was merciful to him though because he repented before the Lord and acknowledged his sins before him, so the Lord did not kill him (which is what he deserved). But still his sins caused so much trouble in his household afterwards. His own son conspired against him that he had to run for his life. There were murders and conspiracies in his own household because of what he’s done.
So no one gets away with anything, no one. Unless they repent and ask Jesus Christ to take their sins away, their sins will find them and will bring judgement in their lives.
On the side note, isn’t it wonderful for us that Jesus Christ overcame the cross that today He can forgive us and take our sins away? That when we are really repentant and want nothing to do with our sins and wickedness anymore and want to forsake them completely, the Lord can take away the curse and punishment that is due to us because He had put them upon Himself? We can find the forgiveness of God and live a new life because Jesus Christ became the atonement for our sins. God put our sins upon His own Son, Jesus Christ so that today we can live guilt free. He truly is a wonderful God. I love him so much.
That’s why it’s so important to be merciful and to forgive, because if you’ve lived long enough you know that you have not been perfect either. You have one way or another hurt someone else too. In that case, it’s best to forgive others and wait on the Lord to heal you and mend your broken heart than to harbor ill feelings against another, or worse turn around and avenge yourself and get even with them. It’s best to forgive, move on, and pray for that person because they need it as much as you do. Perhaps they hurt you because they’ve been hurting for a long time themselves, and they know nothing else but to hurt other people. Maybe it’s not really even about you, but it’s really because of their upbringing. Maybe they didn’t even know they hurt you. Regardless, whatever the reason, in the end it’s best to talk to the Lord about the injustice you feel. Ask for His healing touch and for His help to forgive, and move on. Move on and be happy. Don’t let another person take your joy away from you. This life is but for a moment, it is passing, and soon we will be in heaven with the Lord where all these petty things in this life will be forgotten. Nothing is worth getting ourselves unhappy about for a long time, nothing. Nothing in this life is going to last except Jesus Christ.
“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” {2 Corinthians 4:17}
“But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.” {1 Peter 5:10}
“But the Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you, and keep you from evil.” {2 Thessalonians 3:3}
“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” {Romans 8:18}
Prayer
I thank You Father for Your great love for me. I thank You that You never ever change. You remain the same yesterday, today, and will be forever. Thank You Lord Jesus, for Your great love for me at the cross, in dying for my sins and setting me free to live a life free of guilt and shame. I thank You Lord for You in my life.
I pray Father, for Your continued grace, and love, and guidance upon me in this life. Help me to keep talking to You about everything I go through in this life. You alone understand all things. You alone created all things in this life. My mind is limited to understanding everything. Please Lord Jesus, give me more of Your Spirit to discern the things in this life that I may not be easily offended. Help me to learn to connect with You in my thoughts as soon as someone says or does something that offends me. Help me not to hold on to bitterness and have it fester in my heart. Help me to find You and Your love to forgive. I thank You, Father. I pray these things in Your wonderful name, Jesus. Thank You, Father. Amen.
Image by Lukas_Rychvalsky from Pixabay
Rp7/2017
