Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded? {1 Corinthians 6:7}
Do we always have to be right? What if we are wrong? What’s so bad about that? No one is perfect. It’s okay if we are wrong sometimes. It doesn’t mean we are stupid or dumb or that there’s something wrong with us. It means we are human.
It’s not fun when someone hurts and offends us. The first thing we want to do is stand up for ourselves and defend ourselves. It’s human nature, it is a part of our survival. We hate it when people think negatively of us or evil of us. We want people to approve of us, and when they don’t we feel a sense of rejection. When people talk bad about us or tell us we’ve done something wrong, in essence we’ve been rejected. We don’t feel loved anymore, and that hurts. And when they’re talking about things that aren’t true, it hurts even more. We can’t help but feel we must stand up for ourselves and defend ourselves.
Remember the Lord who suffered being wronged? Did He ever retaliate when the soldiers and the scribes and the Pharisees mocked Him and belittled Him? He, who was so holy and perfect and righteous, and had every right to stand up and defend Himself, remained calm and collected. He, who never did wrong but good, and had every right to lash back, remained quiet and at peace with Himself even when everyone was reviling Him and scorning Him and lying about Him.
So, who cares if it feels like we’ve been put down and belittled? It’s okay. We don’t have to defend ourselves all the time. We don’t have to be up in arms when we feel like someone came against us. Choose peace and be still. Don’t let them take your peace. Don’t let them disturb you. Christ suffered wrongs. He put up with it for our sake, we can do the same for His sake. Because when we do He will defend us – He will stand up for us and comfort us. Whereas, if we stand up for ourselves and lash out and say unkind things back, what comfort will we have from Christ? We will have none. If we turn around and become ugly and hateful too, then where are we going to turn for comfort? We might feel good for a moment, but it’s not going to last. And the Lord doesn’t justify evil. He will not justify us when we turn around and do wrongly. He will only justify us when we repent. Evil for evil will never bring about good. Only good can overcome evil. The Bible tells us,
Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. {Romans 12:21}
I know it’s easier said than done. So let them. Let them mock on and scorn on. It doesn’t hurt us any worse than they hurt themselves. Believe me, at the end of the day I’d rather be the one hurting than the one who hurt someone. Why? Because I can find the comfort of God more readily available for me. When I go to Him and I’m hurting because of someone who did me wrong, He comforts me. Because when the fight is over, when the yelling is done, at the end of the night I can have a clear conscience that I didn’t make it worse for myself. Because from my experience whenever I stood up for myself and did not hold my peace and gave them what I thought they deserved, I end up wishing I just held my tongue instead. I always end up wishing I kept my mouth shut instead. I can’t find peace in my soul. I lie awake at night with regrets instead of having a peaceful and a sound sleep. And even if I stood up and defended myself, I wished so many times that I had the sense enough to not ever say anything that I will regret. But often the case with me is, I’ve found once I yell back, I almost always end up saying something I know I shouldn’t say. And I end up wishing I just shut my mouth up instead.
I can justify myself all I like, but if I’m wrong I’m wrong. I could never find myself at peace in my heart until I ask for God’s forgiveness and forgive myself. Besides, only God can judge the heart. What if they did not intend evil? What if they did not intend to hurt me at all? What if something else was actually motivating them to say the things they said that hurt me, and it wasn’t really about me at all? If they intended evil then God will judge them, but if we return evil with evil how will God defend us? How can He comfort us? We will have no excuse. We will have no comfort. We will have no say. By learning to suffer wrongs we are learning to obey the commandment and teachings of Jesus Christ when He said,
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. {Matthew 5:9}
Can you suffer wrongs? Yes you can, and yes I can. We can suffer wrongs. It’s okay to be wronged and not retaliate because we will have the comfort of Christ, and when God is for us who can be against us? Remember, He is a man of sorrow, acquainted with grief. {Isaiah 53:3} There is no sorrow, there is no hurt, there is no pain that He cannot see, feel, and understand. When we suffer wrongs for His sake we make Him proud. We make ourselves near and dear to Him because He went through the same thing. He knows how we feel. He comes to us because we can identify with Him. We are one with Him. He understands us completely.
I have found again and again that when I chose to hold my peace and look to Him for strength and comfort instead, not only does He comforts me and heals my wounds, I end up winning the person who was so against me over to my side. I’ve found they end up trying to make it up to me later. Not only that, I find to my cringing amazement that God teaches them the lesson I wished they would learn. God taught it to them, I didn’t have to do it. Because I let God fight my battle, I don’t have to feel bad about anything. I kept myself from any reproach. Whereas if I had said what I really thought of them, they’d never forget it, and they’d never forgive me. Sure, there have been often times when I wish they’d apologize to me and tell me how right I was after all. Don’t we all wish that? But many times it doesn’t happen. Other people have a hard time saying they’re sorry as much as we do. We all think we’re right in our own eyes. It is hard to admit we’re wrong even when we realize we are, and it’s so hard to admit it to someone. It takes a very mature person to apologize and admit they’re wrong. Don’t expect it, but always be prepared to forgive instead.
I’ve learned to just find my comfort and healing with the Lord. I’ve learned to automatically just go straight to Him when I’m hurting. He heals and comforts and He helps me to forget the hurt. With the Lord fighting our battles, we can have the assurances and the boldness that He is for us and not against us. We can look to Him for our help and our strength, comfort and peace. We can look to Him and find a true Friend. Let Him do the defending for us.
The LORD is my strength and my song, and He has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise Him, my father’s God, and I will exalt Him. {Exodus 15:2}
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. {Proverbs 15:1}
The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the LORD. {Proverbs 16:1}
Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will shew to you to day. {Exodus 14:13}
Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time: {1 Peter 5:6}
Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven. {Luke 6:37}
This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. {John 15:12}
Prayer
Oh Father, You are ever so good and kind. You are ever so merciful and loving. You are ever so faithful and true. How can I even begin to thank You for the goodness that You bestow upon me each and everyday? There is nothing I can ever do or say to repay You for all Your goodness and kindness upon me. I praise You Jesus. I love You Father. Thank You with all of my heart for Your love and grace and mercy upon me today. Thank You, Jesus.
Father, it is getting harder and harder to take wrongs these days. It seems to be the norm to lash out when someone offends us or hurts us. It is not fun at all when someone comes and attacks us or belittles us, or when it feels like we’re being put down and being put to shame. It just doesn’t feel right not to say anything back. Every ounce of our ego wants to fight back and retaliate. We want to punish and hurt back. Why can’t we? Why do we have to suffer wrongs?
Please Father help me to know when to say something and when to hold my tongue. I know there is a time and season for everything. Please give me the wisdom to know the difference. Help me to know what to do and what to say in every situation. Help me to remember You when I am hurt and angry. Keep me from saying and doing something that I will regret later. Help me to talk to You and find Your comfort. I pray this Father, in Your most wonderful and precious name, Jesus. Thank You, Father. Amen.
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Rp9/2018
