“I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.” {1 Corinthians 15:31}
“But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.” {1 Corinthians 9:27}
These are the writings of Apostle Paul, the apostle that wasn’t a part of the twelve that Jesus had chosen in the beginning when He was still on the earth. Yet, Paul is a very famous apostle because from Romans to Hebrews he was pretty much the writer of the epistles. That’s almost half of the New Testament. Some say he didn’t write the book of Hebrews, but no one really knows who wrote it and the tone of the writing seems to point to Paul. Anyway, those who are new to the Lord might not understand why Paul became an apostle in the first place when he wasn’t a part of the twelve disciples that Jesus had chosen. As a matter of fact if you were to read about Paul before he came to know the Lord, you’d wonder how ever became an apostle. He was actually a Pharisee on the way to Damascus to persecute the saints of God who believed in Jesus. He wanted to bring Christians into Jerusalem to have them tried and condemned to death. He was the one who consented and most likely encouraged the death of Stephen the martyr. The Jews were so angry with Stephen for preaching to them about Christ that they stoned him to death. Anyone who had a hand in his stoning placed their robes at Paul’s feet, who at this point in time was actually named Saul. (He changed his name to Paul after his conversion.) They say it’s because the people trusted Saul enough to keep their coats for them which they didn’t want soiled in the process of stoning Stephen. But I think it’s more than that. I can’t help but feel maybe it’s because they wanted Saul to take note of their devotion and their piety, and to remember them if they ever needed Saul to speak up or stand up for them in the future. Regardless the reason, in this very scene we can see that Saul (Paul) is far from being a candidate for apostleship. And yet, God called him. On his way to Damascus the Lord out of heaven called his name and revealed Himself to him. The Bible tells us about this scene, Saul wondering who was calling him,
And he said, “Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks.” {Acts 9:5}
Needless to say, Saul was speechless. He couldn’t believe that the God he believed to be against the Christians was actually Jesus. And now Jesus is telling him he was persecuting Him. We can only imagine Saul’s feelings and emotions upon hearing this. Well, to make a long story short, Saul became a believer of Jesus Christ and became one of the most zealous of all followers of Him. He established churches all over Asia and wrote epistles to them, preaching to the Jews and to the Gentiles the wonderful gospel of Jesus. Today we benefit so much in the writings of Paul who became an apostle because the Lord showed Himself face to face to him, and was personally chosen by Him to be His apostle to the Gentiles. Paul was the one who said,
“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” {Philippians 1:21}
Surrendering is a process. It’s not going to happen by our own strength, will or power. It’s going to take the hand of God in our lives to bring about the person He desires us to be. Like Apostle Paul, the Lord has to reveal Himself to us and give us the power to follow Him. Paul knew about God. He grew up studying Him since he was a child. When he grew up he was so zealous about the Jewish religion that he was the main leader of people who persecuted the Christians. But the Lord called him and wanted him to be His apostle to the Gentiles. Paul had nothing to do with it. When God called him and revealed Himself to Paul, he had no other choice but to follow.
We sometimes may feel that we will never be enough. Sometimes we might feel like we’re always blundering in our walk with God. Maybe we feel like we’re snails slowly following Jesus. Time seems to slow down and we could never catch up to those who seem so advanced in their knowledge of God. But keep at it and have faith, because the process of surrendering and the power that comes from it has to come from God. We have no power, none whatsoever. Only Christ can bring about the changes we need for Him to bring in our hearts. But of course we must do our part. We cannot give up. We must, as apostle Paul did, die daily. We need to take up our cross everyday and follow Jesus. We cannot surrender to Him on our own accord or on our own volition. But we do have the power of Christ in us to bring ourselves, to submit ourselves, for an hour or two in prayer and communion with Him. That’s really all it takes – talking to Him to bring about the changes we need. We don’t have to scale mountains and valleys, cross rivers and oceans to try to win the Lord. All we need to do is talk to Him. The process of talking to the Lord is what will bring us to surrender to Him more and more. Because when we are talking to the Lord everyday and communing with Him all the time, we will come to fall in love with Him. That’s the key to surrendering to Jesus – being in love with Him. The more we love Him the more we will give up things for Him. The more we are talking to Him the more He will give Himself to us. This giving of Himself to us is our power to surrender. That’s why its so crucial to talk to Him. Reading about Him is not enough. Reading the Bible is not enough. Studying it from Genesis to Revelation is not enough if we’re not talking to Him and applying what we’re learning. He is not just some lesson we’re studying, but He is alive and real, living in our hearts and in our soul. He is alive in us. He is real. We feel Him, we see Him and we can touch Him. He is real and alive to us. We must have His word in our hearts growing and lifting up our soul. We must open up our mouths in worship and adoration and thanksgiving to Him, and bring God’s Spirit into our hearts and into our souls. This will give us the power to be His son or His daughter. God coming into our soul and spirit is the power we need to overcome in this life. Without talking to God, daily abiding in Him and looking to Him for strength, we are nothing. Jesus tells us,
Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. {John 15:4-5}
It is so crucial to talk to the Lord. It is our lifeline. Without it we can never surrender.
Prayer
Father, I am lost without You. I need You so much today, especially in these last days where Your coming is ever so near. Please Jesus, save me. Help me to submit myself to You in prayer and in supplications. Help me to open up my heart and my mouth to worship and praise You – to give You honor and thanksgiving. For in the process You will change me. You will bring about the person You desire in me to be. I am nothing without You Jesus. I cannot change myself. I have no power to overcome the principalities of this world. But through You, through talking to You and through worship of You, I will overcome. I love You Jesus. I love You Lord. Thank You for loving me and for Your wonderful and precious blood You shed for me at Calvary. Save me today Father and help me to surrender to You everyday, I pray, in Your most wonderful and precious name, Jesus. Thank You, Father. Amen.